Location : Capetown
Well...my dad used to say "Life never goes as planned!".....and it's very true!
I would say even more: " Whatever you want to do in life....start by doing something else completely different!"
Anyway life didn't go as planned when i arrived in capetown last week after my course in Entabeni. 2010 was supposed to be a big year for me with a big page to turn...the page turns out to be much bigger than expected for some personal reasons.
Life is a book...true...but there are some pages that you don't feel like tearing out...and unfortunately by wanting to make a new page in your book you end up tearing out other pages involuntary! That s what happened to me...I have lost a beautiful page of my book by wanting to add more pages...
But this page I have lost will always remain in my heart as the most beautiful page of the book. An unforgettable one which was supposed to be there at the conclusion of the journey but it won't....Or let me put it correctly, it will...but in a different way.
But that page that has been torn out now will still give me inspiration and strength as it has always done before. Some people say that by tearing out that page, my journey will be even more beautiful…. I, personally, believe that I will take this page with me on my journey and all the good things which will happen will be thanks to this page that I will be carrying with me along my path... I will keep this page as a lucky charm because it has always brought colours into my life.
We all have a cross to carry...and believe me, I carried my cross last week and I am still carrying it around. Nothing is the same for me...everything looks and tastes different…a very blurry look and a very sour taste...But that's life isn't it? How can you appreciate life if it always tastes like blueberries? The lemon taste is there too, to make you appreciate the blueberry taste...It s a hard but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger…and it makes you appreciate things that you wouldn't have appreciated before.
I didn't need that bitter taste in my mouth and that blurry look in my eyes right now after this amazing month I spent in the bush where I actually and finally (and I am proud to say it) FOUND MYSELF and found my heart rhythm...But it has happened and I have no choice but to deal with it...swallow it and wait for the days when I will find again a blueberry taste in a pie!
I had that blueberry taste for many years but I didn't realise it because I was always looking for something to enhance that wonderful taste. And I end up with a sour one.
But the taste I had during these past years was actually perfectly delicious and I should have appreciated it more!
I guess this is how you learn...you learn how to appreciate what you have because nothing in life is immortal! Appreciate it today because tomorrow, it will be gone. I thought I learnt that lesson when my dad passed away….but obviously not!
I was a cactus in front of a frangipane flower and because I needed water to grow and get stronger, once I found the water I needed – the frangipane flower had dried out.
The frangipane flower was patient and strong but as the cactus dropped its thorns because it found its water the frangipane was now too exhausted and had no water to grow any more.
The cactus has got enough water now for both of them but the frangipane is too tired…it s too late and the cactus has got no other choice but to grow thorns again to defend itself and to let the frangipane find her own water again. And he knows that she will…because she’s Beautiful, because she has the best smell in the world and because everything she touches turns green…turns into colours like the rainbow in the sky after the rain.
I am not sure if all I say makes sense to you….But this is my blog and I can write whatever I want...
So, “sorry” if I wasted a few minutes of your time today and “You’re welcome” if you will take this message home tonight.
I know it’s got nothing to do with what I wrote but here are some pics of the camp I stayed at in Entabeni for a month.
The same as the blueberry taste is appreciated more once one has tasted the sourness of a lemon, beautiful dreams can’t exist without nightmares!
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